Season 5 Episode 4: How to Write a Lament

Hi, I'm Alex and I'm Brenda welcome to conversational counseling where counseling and discipleship meet well hey y 'all this episode was originally recorded in 2021 in our online real -life discipleship counseling course which you can access from our website we'd love for you to check it out and join that class but what we want you to know is you might notice a slight difference in the audio quality but we think the

content really fits this season's theme of suffering perfectly and it has been a fruitful teaching for a lot of people so we've been told so we wanted to share it with you here and we really hope that it brings you hope and help wherever you are today especially if you're facing suffering.

Last lesson we spent some time unpacking a biblical theology of suffering and one of the things that we want to do today and in lesson two next month is going to be to talk about some of the practical ways that we walk through suffering and so today in our bonus material we want to talk about lament and we're just going to jump right in so Alex first of all why don't you tell us a definition what exactly is a

lament so we like the definition that lament is a passionate plea for help to a compassionate god lament is when we are expressing our emotions but we're still engaging our faith it captures our heart in our mind and we see the lament in different places throughout the scripture of course we see a lot of lament in the book of lamentation and then we see lament in the song Psalms.

We see Jesus lamenting in the garden. And laments may, you know, sound different than what we may expect to hear from scripture.

I'm gonna read some examples of some of them. - I was gonna ask if you had some examples for us today. The first one says, "Please God,

no more yelling. No more trips to the woodshed. Treat me nice for a change. I'm so starved for affection." Another one says,

"Can't you see I'm black and blue? Beat up badly in bones and souls. God, how long will it take for you to let up?" And here's the third example.

"God, are you avoiding me? Where are you when I need you? Long enough, God, you've ignored me long enough. I've looked at the back of your head long enough." These examples of Lament are actually Psalms that were written in the message.

So different translation than we might be used to. And I think when we put them in that everyday language, they feel even a little bit more shocking. - Definitely. As I'm listening to you,

I'm like, "Wait a second. Can we talk to God like that? This feels very uncomfortable." Sort of makes us wanna step back and it actually feels a little irreverent, right? - It really does.

But I love what Paul Miller says about Lament. He wrote a book called "A Loving Life." It's on the book of Ruth. And in that book, he says that Lament's are a raw, pure form of faith that takes God at his word.

And that's what it is. I'm sorry, you're gonna hear my dog. It's really raw. It's our raw. I think of like, it's the opposite of getting dressed up for church and putting our pearls on and cleaning everything up.

It is our unpolished, unvarnished self. - Yeah, but we don't like that so much, right? We especially don't like to come before God that way. Sort of that raw feels very vulnerable.

It even feels a bit unspiritual. And I know, like me, you probably talk with a lot of women who have never been given the permission or even know they could talk to God this way. I remember talking to this one woman who was just so burdened down with so much pain.

And she just kept trying to be happy, happy, happy. I'll just have enough faith. I'll just bootstrap it, it'll all be good. And when I began to talk to her about this lament, this idea of lament, she just began to weep.

She was like, nobody has ever told me that I could speak honestly to God this way. Nobody's ever told me like, I kept thinking that that's unbelief, that's not what faith looks like.

- Yeah, I would have to say that's even true in my own life. I've caught myself as we're preparing this every the last couple of weeks, even just confessing to the Lord that I don't lament with Him, that I hide when I am not good.

When I don't think it's good, I don't go to the Lord. And so this has been convicting for me to work on and to remind myself, I almost challenged myself to,

I know this is gonna sound weird, but a discipline of lament. - Yeah, like I discipline myself towards prayer, but my prayer is the cleaned up version, but to even try to discipline myself towards lament.

So we wanna talk about, how is the lament different from complaint? Because that's really one of the first questions that we get when we talk about lament. Well, I'm not allowed to complain. And so I wanna make a distinction for that.

But I'm first saying that lament are a prayer for help and it's coming out of our pain, and just like complainers, they're very common in the Bible. So when we hurt physically,

we cry out in pain. And when we hurt spiritually, we lament. We're responding to God just like a child talks to us, and like our children come to us in their distress.

When our children first began to walk and fall down and hurt themselves, the first person they turn towards is usually mom or dad, and they go to them and they cry out in pain.

and so that we see that that instinct in children to pour out their heart to their parents and that's really what lament is. Yeah that's so good. I think rather than seeing it as something unspiritual irreverent we need to understand that lament is actually an expression of trust in God.

Think about you know think about people that we feel the most comfortable with free to pour our hearts out to. It might be a husband, it might be a friend, a lot of times it could be a mom you know this is one reason why I think teenagers sometimes rail against their moms it's such a safe place.

But we go to these people because we know that no matter what we say or how we feel or what we do they're still going to love us. You know they're safe and what we need to remember is God is super duper safe.

He actually truly knows our hearts, truly knows our hearts even what we're not saying and he never ever stops loving us and never stops. But how?

We're not scared of us either you know of coming like you said it's it's it should be our instinct to run to him but it's actually his instinct to draw near to us when we're in pain. That's really beautiful.

It's a good reminder. So how would we distinguish lament? I'm sorry I'm walking over you I'm sorry go ahead. How would we distinguish lament and the sinful grumbling and complaining?

Yeah I think the biggest thing in lament is that we're talking to God and not about him implying that we still trust in him. You know we think about God's response to the grumblers throughout the scriptures right and in numbers we see that the ground opens up you know and swallows the Israelites.

Lament is safe when it's done in the context of worship and that's really what we want to talk about is how do we begin to take our our complaint in a manner of which it actually is worship and not just the sort of word vomiting.

- Yeah. And I think that that's hard because lament is messy and we don't equate messy and worship together. We think worship has to be super orderly,

but lament is messy in the sense that it's, we're really reckoning with our current reality and the hope we have in Christ for all things to be restored.

And I think that is so important. Like the reason that we can lament is because we have these promises of restoration. We are looking forward to a better world than new heavens and the new earth that's to come.

And we recognize that our current reality does not match that. And so Paul Miller, again, he says lament connects to hot wires like God's promises and the problems that we're facing.

And then when we put them together, we get kind of the dole that lament is. - Yeah, it's so true 'cause our reality and what the Bible says is very jolting a lot of times.

And so it is the intersection that connects those. It is, it allows us to interact with our reality versus what God is saying to be true. And I think about it,

Alex, it's sort of like if I just were to pick up the phone and call you and all I did was just complain about God the whole time. Just complain, complain, complain, just tell you how angry and aggravated and all of this.

And so I think when we think about lament being worship, it's a God word complaint. I'm complaining to him and that leads me to seek him and to ultimately find through my pain,

greater trust and hope in him. It's not just picking up the phone and to complain about him to you. It's actually going to him and making that a real God word oriented complaint. And I think sort of what you're saying about the messy in this is there is a point that we do have to be careful.

We don't stand as judge over God, right? And so I think in our lament, we do need to be careful, but sometimes we do that. We're angry enough, we begin to judge God and we begin to rail against God.

And the beautiful thing about that is we have Holy Spirit Spirit who will say like hey hey hey hey what are you doing you know and when that happens then we just simply you know that's what we just surrender and say Lord your ways are higher than my ways and I don't understand it I'm so vexed you know God you know forgive me for for standing in judgment over you and so we can even even in that we can just come

and be honest and then confess of it and you know ask the Lord's forgiveness in that. Yeah yeah so we we wanted to think about some reasons why we will not and we see two main reasons one life is hard and we don't have to tell anybody that and that lament takes us to the truth savior so I just want to talk for a minute about going to God because life is hard because we we definitely see examples all through the

Psalms and Jesus lamenting in suffering but there are also examples of suffering because we sin and I think we see it most clearly in Psalm 50 one but as I was reading I was reading back over a lot of Psalms over the last couple weeks just reminding myself about lament I actually see peppered into the Psalms of suffering Psalms of lamenting sin like my own facelessness my own sense my own premise to wondering it's

peppered through the Psalms of suffering and so we lament to because life is hard and we have we go we are going to go somewhere when when when life is hard like the child who's fallen and skinned their knee we're going to go to someone so when we lament we go to the Lord so that we don't create the false saviors instead of turning to Jesus and we know how often and how easily we go to false saviors.

We go to numbing, we go to comfort, we go to binging, we bury our feelings through food and social media and work and play and so many other things.

We have plenty of things to distract us. But we know that ultimately those things are going to leave us feeling more broken and more empty. And so lament is a way for us to go to the Savior and not to the false saviors that seem so easy and but are really just a band -aid over the suffering.

So Kurt Thompson says that by failing to lament, we begin to collect an entire library of small emotional losses that we keep burying and yet have to burn energy to contain inside of ourselves.

And then we wonder why we're so tired, irritable and eventually depressed, not wanting to get out of bed, unable to find the energy to create beauty and goodness in the places we are dwelling.

And I just love that quote because it reminds us that even though it may look good on the outside, when we're burying those losses and we're failing to lament,

we're using energy and it eventually is going to squeak out somewhere. Like it's going to ease out in some form or another. And so often I think what you and I see Brenda is it eases out in the form of anxiety and depression and people come in our offices because they have gone years and years without acknowledging their feelings of loss and grief and they have not lamented well and they're paying the price and their

emotional and mental health. Yeah and I know next month we're going to talk about in their physical health because a lot of times as we just continue to absorb that and absorb that and absorb that,

that, it affects our body as well. Yeah. Well, you're right. Lament takes us to the one true Savior because we will try to deny and be numb and hide and run and all of that.

But God wants us to run to Him in our pain. And, you know, if we don't learn to lament, then we actually miss an opportunity to connect with God and to struggle through our fear,

our anger, our cynicism, our worry, our doubts with Him. And that's the whole point in lament is that we're struggling with Him, not apart from Him. And just the act of lamenting itself is an act of belief.

You know, it shows that our hope is in God, the one who sees, the one who hears, the one who will respond to our cries. So maybe contrary to belief,

it actually draws us closer to the Lord as opposed to if we don't lament, there's greater unbelief as we become more disconnected to God and the hope that He offers.

Yeah. I also love this idea. We've been talking about this in my women's Bible study that lament is what makes a place in our hearts for gratitude and praise.

And I really think that's why we see the psalms as a collection of pouring out our hearts before the Lord with lament and thanksgiving weaven together.

It's like we see, we see, we don't see like, okay, here's the lament psalms, and now here are the praise psalms. We see lament and praise, weaven together throughout the book of psalms, because lament makes a place in our hearts for gratitude.

I honestly feel like it's like when I can let out these feelings of loss and grief, then I have a place now to give thanksgiving and praise.

It's like if I'm using the energy to hold on to what's hard, then I find it difficult to move my heart into a place of praise. And so I think of it, our rival study actually came up with this word picture together that is the seesaw and that,

you know, as lament rises, you know, lament rises and gratitude and praise goes down, but the seesaw doesn't stay up, it actually goes like this and so we the the sea if the sea salt is moving well we are moving smoothly through lament and praise like and they're making a place for each other because I moved up in lament I'm now able to move up in gratitude and so it's like this to me I see the sea salt of

worship that it that these two things can flow together they don't have to be separate I like that another analogy just came to my mind it's almost as if our hearts if they're filled with sorrow and we pour some sorrow out through our lament then the grace of God right that God pours in this idea of thanksgiving and gratitude and then we pour out but to your point if we're always if we're never pouring out taking

that to the Lord then our hearts just may stay full of that sorrow and it doesn't leave the room for the gratitude and thanksgiving and I also think friend that it that that picture those word pictures they are the full expression of what our lives are really like no one lives up here all the time and and and hopefully we don't live down here all the time the fullest expression of our our normal daily life is

sorrowful and always rejoicing like we are moving in and out of joy and and gratitude and sorrow and lament that's so good I mean the reality is is that our hearts are so messy that in our hearts we can be have complaint and thanksgiving residing in our hearts at the same time we can have sorrow and joy residing in our hearts at the same time and I think we like to have those neat little you know boxes that we

can put life into but to your point life nor the expression of life is going to be that neat so practically let's talk about how do we lament one of the ways that we have found to be really really helpful for our own lives and as we talk with other women is to write our own song and if we think about a song what is a song well it's a sacred song or poem used especially in worship and this idea of worship is

really valuing and treasuring who God is, right, that we're going to him to make our pain known. And the Psalms in the Bible give us great vocabulary for our pain.

A lot of times people just don't have the words. And so it's a beautiful place for us to go. I did want to read this one code as we're just thinking about this idea of pouring out our hearts or the seesaw effect.

Someone said, "You will never rebuild the broken down walls of your heart until you first weep and mourn over the ruins." And so we're going to weep and mourn over the ruins and then see how God begins to rebuild.

Sort of this idea of allowing for grief in order to heal from grief is the idea of writing a Psalm. So we'll start with these Psalms and the Bible,

the Psalms in the Bible. One of the sermons that we really like on this are Praying Our Tears by Tim Keller. And he really talks about these two emotional ditches that we can fall into.

You know, when we're faced with some sort of loss, we can either give into full venting or we can just stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff. But he says that there's another way to deal with our hurt and our grief.

And that is to pray our emotions. One third of the Psalms in the Bible are laments. There's about 150 Psalms, you know, people pouring out their heart to the Lord and over half of them then I have to do with despair or anger or loneliness or all of those kind of negative emotions that we experience,

you know, as people living in a fallen world who are still seeking our heavenly home and hoping in God. And I think again, we want to just remember that this is not just venting to God.

It's not just catharsis. A woman in Christina Fox says that laments are more than catharsis that within themselves themselves they are psalms of theology,

doxology, and a form of worship. They remind us of truth, they are exercises in faith, and they are transformative for the believer. And I think we're going to see that now as we start to unpack writing our own psalms and looking at the structure of a lament psalm.

We're going to see that the psalms move from a place of expressing grief into reminding of truth and remembering God's faithfulness.

And so the beautiful thing about the lament psalms is they move us. They don't stay in one place. So the first one way we,

of course, we can literally pray these psalms as they're written, but I also really encourage people to choose a psalm and rewrite it in their own words because sometimes we may feel stuck.

I know I feel this way myself. I had an interaction with someone yesterday through email and she said, "You asked me how I was doing." And until you asked me, I didn't even really know how I felt.

Almost like I wasn't willing to look at it. And so sometimes we find that it's difficult, like we know we're in pain, but it's difficult to give words to the pain. And so we look to the words of the psalms and I think of it like we're in eighth grade and the teacher's given us a writing prompt on the chalkboard.

That dates me, doesn't it? On the whiteboard, right? But you know she writes that little writing prompt up there and that is the jump start in our brain for creative writing.

And the psalms can be that for us. And so I encourage people, read the whole psalm at one time or the portion that you want to focus on and then put each of the psalms' thoughts into your own words in your own experiences.

And by that I mean go ahead and personalize the pronouns these the I and and me and mine and make the ideas relate to your life.

And so when we read some of the songs like we read the songs of David when Saul is pursuing him and he says things like my enemies are encamped all around me and David is probably talking about literal enemies who want to kill him physical people but we can think about our own experience like what is my experience right now of enemies that are encamped around me is fear encamped around me is despair encamped around

me what is encamped around me that's like it's coming against my soul and put that into my own words in my own experience. And I really want to encourage you don't overthink this like um this is a prompt the songs are a prompt so there are there are things in the songs that I don't understand and so I encourage people when you get to a part that you don't understand you don't understand why the geography might be

important there what the metaphor really means skip it I mean keep going the point is not to get caught up in a learning exercise or to deepen our knowledge at this point this is really an exercise to experience God in the way of pouring out our heart to him and so we don't want to get too bogged down and trying to um research you know a specific geographic place we really want to get in touch more with what is

the son is expressing and feeling and how do I see that same expression and feeling in my own life so we have a song that um a friend wrote um someone who was struggling with an enslaving sin and um Brenda um you're gonna read the song and I'm gonna read her rewrite is that right yep exactly we'll just take it in little sections at a time so it's a song 130 out of the depths I cry to you Lord Lord hear my

voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. - From the dark, dry desert, I look for you but cannot see you through the clouds. Can you see me even when I can't see you?

Can you hear me even when I can't hear you? Will you offer me mercy even when I have no words to ask for it? - If you,

Lord, keep a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness so that we can with reverence serve you. I wait for the Lord my whole being waits and in his word,

I put my hope. - Lord, if you held me accountable for all my wrongdoings, I would be nothing but dust. Although I don't deserve it, nor do I accept it,

most of the time, I stand in awe that you grant forgiveness of sins to a person like me. - I wait for the Lord more than the watchman, wait for the morning, more than the watchman,

wait for the morning. - In the darkness I wait for you, Lord, through the long darkness I wait and I put my hope in the Lord until the dawn will once again break through the clouds.

- Israel, put your hope in the Lord for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins. - I must trust that if I keep my hope in you,

your everlasting love will redeem me from the darkness and will redeem me from all my sins that cannot be redeemed otherwise. This is a beautiful example.

And I think it really illustrates the point that what our friend got to here was probably so much richer and deeper than she would have gotten on her own if she just sat down to write a lament.

But thinking of the richness of the words of the psalmist, she was able to give a fuller expression to her own thoughts and feelings. - Yeah, that's great.

Well, one of the ways I like to think about writing psalms is to really look at the components of a lament and the lament share a number of common elements,

but there are three that typically show up in almost all of the lament psalms. They're crying out, asking for help and responding and trust and praise. And so the first thing that we wanna remember in a psalm is to cry out in candor that we're addressing God intimately.

We're pouring our hearts out to him. We don't have to try to clean up our hearts and the messiness of all of our thinking. We don't have to pretend it's better than it is or to try to figure it out.

We can just go to him in all of our mess. He loves for us to come to him with our messes. I think too, and this we can think about adjectives and metaphors and descriptions. I think about when the psalm says,

"My tears are my food day and night." So this is just really that pouring out of our hearts is that first step. And then the second is we're gonna ask for help. Again, we've talked about this isn't just a pagan complaint.

This is an act of worship where we're going to God to complain and to build our trust in him and to acknowledge him. So we ask for help and we dare to hope in God's promises. We ask him for help in our circumstances and in our unbelief as well.

And then finally, we're gonna respond in trust and praise. And I think it's Paul Miller who talks about the J curve that the laments make this curve, this Jesus J curve.

We go down, down, down, down, down, down. And then we begin to make that turn where we come up in trust and praise and we really put our eyes on the Lord more than our problems.

So we choose to trust. And in fact, like we said, the lament is going to lead to greater trust. It renews our confidence in God in the midst of the brokenness of this life.

It reorients us to the truth, right? We need a biblical perspective, a biblical worldview. We need to be reoriented toward God. And we can remind ourselves of just God's character and his promises.

And we need to ask ourselves, how can I give thanks? Not necessarily for what I'm grieving, but what is producing? What is it teaching me about God? How is God meeting me in my pain?

And where am I seeing him? And then who can I tell? I was thinking as you were reading the lament from Psalm 130, the fact that we get to share that and we're getting to share some of these other laments. And so sharing,

right? Sharing our heartache and what we were asking God for help and in how we're trusting God and believing him and praising him is just so encouraging for one another in the body of Christ.

And the other day as I was counseling, I was just reminding, this was just a beautiful, just little pattern as I was counseling, talking to someone, "Hey, you can cry out to God." And now let's ask him for help.

And where can you trust and praise God in this situation? So it's a pattern for prayer, but it's also just a pattern to how we can think through our trials, how we can think through our suffering. So here's an example of a friend of mine who was going through a contentious divorce and custody battle.

And this time, Alex, you're gonna read the Psalm and I'm gonna read her lament. - Mm -hmm, this is Psalm 13 and this is to cry out, "How long Lord, would you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?" - How long,

oh Lord, how long must I endure the lies of my husband and children and other people? How long will you allow him to brainwash our children into thinking I have abandoned them, that I am selfish and ungodly and unfit as a mother?

How long will you allow a legal system to treat the important matters of life as just another job? How long do I have to live in fear wondering why my husband's next move or lie will be? Wondering what others think of me?

How long do I have to suffer the effects of living with an abusive man for 27 years? When will I be free of his condemning thoughts? - And now the Psalmist turns to ask for help.

Look on me and answer. Lord my God give light to my eyes that I will sleep in death and my enemy will say I have overcome him and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

Oh Lord answer my pleas for mercy and justice vindicate me to others and reveal to them who my husband really is. Let's people believe his lies and I die in shame rescue my children and show them the truth.

Stop the gossip and slander. Bring my husband to repentance. Remind me that my hope is not in man or man's way but in you alone. And then after crying out and asking for help the psalmist responds in trust and praise but I trust in your unfailing love my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing the Lord's praise for he has been good to me. Your word says you hear the voice of the afflicted. You listen to the cries of the oppressed. You incline your heart to those who fear you and put their trust in you.

Once again I will choose to trust you to meditate on your unfailing love and your faithfulness. And I won't read those they're in the notes but she went on to list 15 items for which she could praise God and see him working in this situation.

And she said I really the more I thought about it I could have listed more but you know what a what a balm to her heart to be able to to pray this prayer to be honest with God to ask for the help she so desperately needed with the hope that God was going to respond.

And let me just say that this psalm was probably written at least two years ago and I've walked with this woman for a long time and just to see how God has vindicated her has been a very very hard road but the Lord has been so faithful and answered her prayers in ways that she couldn't even imagine it's been just really amazing to watch.

And now she has a record, you know, keeping. It's another beautiful thing about writing these Psalms is that we have a record just like the Bible is a record that we have of people in the scriptures and how they suffered and how they ran to God.

When we write our own Psalms, we have our own record of that. It's really the only way I journal. I'm a terrible journaler, but I do rewrite Psalms. And that, that,

like you said, I like being able to look back on those. But if you just give me a blank piece of paper, I feel really lost. So that's why we like these two structures, rewriting the Psalms and then looking at the structure of the Psalm and making your own Psalm within that structure.

But if you are a person who is very creative and you need a blank sheet of paper and let you go, then you can write your own Psalms from scratch. Yeah.

And I have to say, I don't know how creative I am, but I'm a woman of many words. Yeah. So sometimes I just need to brain dump and your faith dump. And I know there was a period when my son was in South Florida in and out of rehabs for two years.

And I just kept a prayer journal and I would just go in there because I would just need to run to the Lord. And I just needed a place to, you know, just be honest and just dump and be reminded that God was,

was for him. He was for me. So this is just one that I wrote of sort of what we're calling a freelance Psalm. "Lord, there's no one like you to help me and my family. So I'm crying out to you. My heart is extraordinarily heavy today for my son.

I'm sad and scared for him. You know his horrible circumstances right now. They didn't catch you off guard or by surprise. This seems impossible and hopeless, but both of those words are not in your vocabulary.

My God is able. You are my son's advocate. You are my advocate. You are my comforter and a counselor. You are a waymaker." So I think there's a song in there,

the waymaker song. There's some, you know, there's some things from just my, my own thinking. But you know, as you look at it, you can just see it. It's a cry, but it's also full of,

you know, what I know to be true about God and what I know to be true about my circumstances, both of those things coming together in that song. We wanted to mention one more way to use the songs to limit,

and that is through songs and spiritual songs, just like Malia gave us this beautiful playlist. I hope people were able to download that on Spotify.

Music and poetry are beautiful mediums to be able to capture the heart and the mind. And so, oftentimes, musicians have a way of capturing the cry of the heart and instructing the heart to look for God in times of trouble,

and I think in my own personal life, when I'm really stuck, sometimes it's only music that will get me unstuck. And as people in my church can attest to that, usually when I slay myself down enough on Sunday morning and I really enter into the songs that we're singing,

and probably not as Sunday goes by that I don't leap in some form or another, because music just unlocks something different in me. So you can find hymns and spiritual songs,

old songs, modern songs, and then you can turn those into your own prayer. If you know a favorite hymn or song, look up the lyrics, use it as a template to write your own prayer.

I find this particularly helpful for me in the nighttime, because I can remember the words of a song so much easier than I can often remember scripture that I've memorized. And so sometimes I will go through the words of greatest faithfulness,

the old hymn, and I will just recite those words to myself and be able to begin to turn that into a prayer. Or the other night, it was how great thou art. And so those words of the hymns that I've known since I was a little girl,

they come back so much faster and they help me redirect my thoughts and move me into prayer when I'm lying awake at 3 .30 in the morning. So we want to just recognize that there are different ways we can access the practice of one night.

We can do it freestyle, we can use these structures, we can rewrite a song, and we can use songs the spiritual songs, and say we really hope that this is both instructive and encouraging us that LaNette is not turning away from God,

it is turning towards God, it is really recognizing the breakdown between what our reality is and what full restoration will one day look like in him, and that we also want to give you some practical tools to be able to carry out LaNette in your own life.

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